They say “Good people surround themselves with good people,” but sometimes it is humbling when you see that in action.
With three hospital stays in my “fourth trimester”, my postpartum experience was anything but ordinary. Instead of the newborn snuggles on the couch that I had dreamt of, I recovered within the four walls of a hospital. I still wouldn’t change this experience, because I learned the true meaning of the term “it takes a village”, and we have one of the best.
When Chaos picked chaos, C and I each made one phone call — me to my sister, and C to his mom. From there we did not need to make additional calls (or send texts) to our family and close friends explaining what was happening… they simply took that off our plate. It seems small, but that allowed us to focus on what was infront of us. We were met with messages of support, or funny stories to lighten the mood of long hospital days. During what should have been the most isolating time in our lives, we had the quiet support of our people. C’s parents would go to the house drop off groceries and let the dog out so we could stay longer at the hospital guilt free, his sister arranged a meal train for us, and his brother offered to cut the grass — but was denied because lawncare was C’s escape.
As we navigated prolonged hospital stays, we were blessed with overwhelming support from friends and family. Meal and grocery drop offs, giftcards, visits, and many more. Honestly my gratitude brought me to tears, and still does.
On my nights to stay at the hospital my sister would come in after work, we’d have dinner together, and then she would get to snuggle her nephew. Auntie became notorious among the nurses, because shes a little nuts — but the good kind of nuts, the kind that brightens a room. She says she visited because she wanted to see her nephew… she also did it because she knew my anxiety was sky high and being alone with my thoughts was a recipe for disaster. She did it so C would actually leave the hospital and get a break to take care of himself. She was taking care of us. Auntie was (and still is) the calm in our chaos, but also the chaos in our calm.
Our friends were our lifeline. They didn’t ask questions, they knew we’d give an update if there was one, but they still checked in. One of my girlfriends (who was also freshly postpartum) dropped a massive bag of Twizzlers in our mailbox one afternoon, knowing it was one of my go to snacks on my car rides home. My mental health Twizzlers if you will, I am sure I was quite a sight navigating Boston traffic singing into my microphone of a handfull of Twizzlers. Nights that I was home, there was apparently a rotating sign up for people to come ‘keep me company’, even if it was just sitting on the couch in silence. C’s friends did what good buddies do… pulled together an insane amount of giftcards for us. Places close to the hospital so we could get lunch or dinner, places close to home that they knew we liked — even a spa gift card (pretty sure some wives did this one) for me to get some self care when life settled down.
My experience with my own postpartum adventures shaped who I am. I became a moms mom, because lets face it, women are incredible. It truly takes a village to navigate rasing tiny humans, and it is impossible to do it alone.
If you don’t know how to help, thats okay. You can be supportive through a text message, or a $5 venmo for coffee. Just let them know you are thinking of them.
Mildly Feral 
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