Same Team… Always

Because sometimes “in sickness & in health” doesn’t apply to just you and your partner. It means standing beside eachother as you navigate the unimaginable together.

I never understood the importance of choosing the right partner, until I was sitting in the CICU with my three day old… staring at my husband with his notebook taking notes of what had been said on rounds. Using one of his three types of handwriting, so its clear and legible for future reference. That notebook had Chaos’ stats each day, weight trends, feeding totals, medications, nurses on shift, attendings we spoke to — you name it, it was in that notebook. There was even a detailed drawing of the parking garage layout so we could physically point to where the car was…

If you know C, none of this is suprising. He is detail oriented, loves research and facts, and is a calm & steady presence. He is always thinking two steps ahead. I would not be the mother I am today without him in my corner. He knows when I am overwhelmed, just by looking at me. He isn’t afraid to have the hard or uncomfortable conversations either.

It would have been easy for our parenting crash course to destroy our relationship. It felt like we were always getting news that made us question “Why us” and any time we got to spend together, was often spent in silence. The kind of silence that feels heavy, when you know your favorite person has a lot on their mind. After leaving one prenatal appointment he turned and looked at me and smiled saying “No new bad news!” and grabbed my hand and squeezed it. This became our approach to everything, no new bad news. We called it a “win” if we didn’t have to process anything new that was unfathomable after one of our many appointments.

During our “residencies” on our chaos tour of BCH, we’d leave each other notes on the kitchen counter as we left the house on our “night home” for the other to read when they returned from the hospital that night. One day he left one that said “Same team, different positions”, as a reminder that at the end of the day we are always on the same team, even if we weren’t doing the same thing. It has shaped how we approached our life, even arguments & disagrements — by reminding ourselves that at the end of the day we have eachothers (and our families) best interest at heart.

C is the backbone of our family. He’s hardworking, humble, and hillarious. He is the budget man who thinks longterm big picture. Meanwhile my idea of a budget is essentially colors and vibes, and I am a little more day to day logistics. But it works.

It is never me vs. him, it is always us vs. the problem — no matter what or how big the problem is. I think that is why we came out stronger. We never needed eachother to feel complete, but we are without a doubt better together.

Same team, always 🤍